thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
