my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
