ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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