its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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