with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
