Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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