i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
