but the lizard people decide everything anyway
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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