Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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