Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
