Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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