guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
