Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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