I wannas sexs uuuuu
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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