she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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