i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Come see our sink grown plant.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
