yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
