I swear she didn't look like that last week.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
