my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
