Where are you?
In a non slutty way
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Can vaginas get frostbite?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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