apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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