I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize