you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
