I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I deserve this hangover.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
