Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
