she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
