well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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