I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I want her autograph on my taint
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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