I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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