It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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