'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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