Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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