the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
