dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
