wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
