yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
