You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
