Me too!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
