I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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