I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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