Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
