Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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