Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
