Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
