I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
