Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How does one acquire holy water?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
