is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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