i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
