So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
