i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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